Myself: An ode to schooling! (Part 2)

How did I have had even more fun going to schools which didn't even have the basic furniture? My schooling was different from that my current peers received in many ways. For instance, there was no lunch box. I was expected to come home, and grab a bite during the one hour lunch break. However, I always had different ideas. I organized troops of kids and raided fruit groves in the village. Perhaps it did not register on my little brain, or perhaps it did not matter to me, that all of them belonged to my relatives, and some of them to my family.

As soon as the bell rang, I used to gather my command. It was actually a command because I expected the kids to call me a Colonel. Someone told me that a Colonel was the highest ranking officer in the army. That guy – hello - ever heard of a Field Marshal? We had spotters – who would warn everyone of approaching grove keepers, and we had gatherers who would shake trees down and collect the fruit. I was the eater. Mangoes, peaches and plums were our favorites. They did not grow anything else anyways.

To reach our favorite mango groves, we had to cross a state highway. Over the years my command brought a number of trucks and buses to screeching and cursing halt by suddenly crossing their path. Those who drove in India, I am sure you have had the pleasure to having the fright of your life as a bunch of kids in a village suddenly appear in front of your speeding car. That was me 25 years ago! We were not trying to create an opportunity to get hurt and to sue you. We just did not care about you!

These days, I take the overpass. Oh – what happened to my adventurous spirit! I guess 31 happened!

Some might think that I was a good for nothing boy. Wrong! I was top of the class. I was blessed with a reasonable memory and was a perfectionist. I memorized everything - including the page numbers. Once, I failed to get the first rank in the class. No problem! My bully of a cousin went to the school and scared the Principal so much that she granted me the rank. Do you not wish that you went to school there? Although, I did not understand how yelling at someone can lead to better grades, I was happy with the outcome.

I believe that I was innovative too. Students used to mumble and stammer when asking for permission to go to the bathroom. I suggested to the class teacher that going for a leak should be labeled #1, going to toilet #2, and going for a drink of water #3. All a student should be required to indicate was the number of the permission requested. My teacher would not stop laughing. She also asked me to get up and announce the suggestion in the class. My suggestion was a precursor to what you get on customer service calls these days. Please dial 1 to hold for 1 hour, 2 to hold for 2 hours, and 3 to have the phone hung up on you! Most of the kids did not understand what I said, including the Principal’s younger brother. He promptly pulled my pajamas down in front of the whole class. That he was one of the few kids smaller than I was helped me in the aftermath. I promptly proceeded to throw the guy down on the ground multiple times – WWE style, till his sister – the principal intervened. She was still laughing!

It is 8AM here, and I need to go to the gym. What a transformation! From running into a truck on a state highway to running to nowhere on an elliptical!

I dedicate this post to Anubha who helped me select the name of my blog. I wanted to name the blog after a philosopher. Unfortunately, she came up with names that sounded like rock bands and software companies. Not much help! Is it?

Anyways, more school stories are coming up, so stay tuned, and please keep encouraging me…